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ON BEING A CLOWN
Being a clown is incredible. Almost all the time people just love to see me coming and their faces light up. It gives me an awesome feeling inside. I love to break people out of their worries – even if just for one moment! I’ve had several people thank me for brightening up their day! The reactions are great – from huge grins, smiles, and waves; to head nods; to quick peace signs and many other ways of saying, “Hi”.
A few people are afraid of clowns, most since they have watch the move IT about a scary clown. Many of these folks warm up to me after they realize I’m okay.
Kids are really great! I love to do knock-knock jokes with them and sing songs like Down by the Bay. It’s great to hear them make up their own jokes or rhymes! The kids also love to receive the Mophe Racing Card – just a wallet size picture of me from the Alzheimer’s Association 5K Run in Loveland OH. I’ve had a lot of kids (and a few adults) ask for my autograph!
I meet people of all shapes, sizes, and colors. They speak different languages, eat different foods, and they celebrate different holidays. They all treat me the same – everyone loves a clown! I wish the world were like that every day and everyone treated each other the same way I am treated. It doesn’t matter to me what anyone looks like. They are all the same – beautiful! We all breathe, eat, and sleep. We all hurt, worry, and if cut bleed. And most of all we all love, hope, and dream!
Sometimes I do get the “what is this guy selling” attitude from people when I first meet them. They think I’m riding around for a business in town or going to do a party. Once they hear I’m riding 1000 miles around the country for charities, they switch to amazement and ask a ton of questions about everything, like:
- Q: How long did it take to learn to ride the unicycle? A: me about 6-months, a friend about 3-months, and Unicycle.com says 10-15 hours of practice
- Q: Can you do tricks? A: some on the unicycle (circles, figure 8s, and riding backwards), I’m trying to learn juggling right now, and no I don’t do magic tricks or balloons!
- Q: How far have you gone? A: Over 600 miles as of September 19th! I expect to cross the 1,000 mile mark in mid to late November.
- Q: Where have you been? A: I've ridden in over 115 cities in 48-states -- all except Alaska and Hawaii. I've ridden in cities like Boston, New York City and Las Vegas. I also rode my unicycle at Niagara Falls, Yellowstone Park, and the Grand Canyon (my personal favorite!).
- Q: What’s your longest ride so far? A: 10-miles straight at a Relay for Life on a High School track. I did stop for water and a couple granola bars, but essentially rode the whole way. I'd say it was similar to running at leasy a half marathon. My longest day was September 19th when I rode 35-miles around Chicago and its suburbs.
- Q: What was your most incredible ride? A: So far, riding in the Race for the Cure with 45,000 people in Columbus OH! It was awe inspiring to see so many people and so many survivors. I actually did two laps – one with the runners and a second with the walkers. It really hit home when I saw the sign on the back of one young lady carrying a baby that said, “In celebration of Me!”
- Q: Can I ride the unicycle? A: No, for safety reasons I can't let anyone else ride my unicycle. I don’t want any one to get hurt.
- Q: How many times have you fallen? A: 5,278 times Response: "Wow! He keeps track!"
- Q: Do you take your makeup off after each city? A: No, I wear it all day.
- Q: Why do you cover so many cities and states, then return to Columbus after a few days? A: I go 3 to 4 days straight, clowning around 11-15 hours a day. So, I go back home to Columbus to take a break from the makeup and helmet strap, catch-up on my journal, post pictures to Facebook, and to see my girl! We miss each other a lot while I'm on the road and she worries about me.
- Q: What do you eat? A: Some would say I have a weird diet while Mophing. I start the day with two raw potatoes and a Diet Dr. Pepper™. The potatoes are the greatest fuel I have found for races or long rides! During the drive to my ride location I eat Life™ cereal right out of the box. During the day, I eat Cheeze-Its™ (Cheddar Jack flavored), bagels, mixed nuts, and granola bars. After a full day of riding, I eat a couple peanut-butter and honey sandwiches and some fruit. I drink lots and lots of water. I may also include a lemonade Glaceau vitamin water™, Propel™, Gatorade™, or even a Muscle Milk™ (if I want to get a chocolate fix!) once or twice during a day. This diet saves time, money, and from having to wipe my chin (the makeup would come off) if I were to eat at restaurants all the time. After the third day out I have a pizza or sometimes I splurge on a burger and fries in the evening when I'm done Mophing.
The most difficult part about being a clown is the makeup: you cannot scratch ANY itch on your face, you cannot wear sunglasses, and sometimes the makeup around my eyes starts to come off after very long rides! My outfit is a bit warm on hot days but bearable. I have ridden in 50 to 97 degrees so far – though I'm heading into October and November now so the extremes will definitely widen! I am sure to hydrate often or take shorter rides in extreme heat and wear Under Armor in cold weather.
I have a couple philosophies that I share with the new friends I make along the way. The first is BAYCDA --- sounds like “bay sea da” --- and means “Believe And You Can Do Anything.” As you can see by my goal and the fact that I’m already 60% there I truly believe in BAYCDA. However, you truly have to “believe” and be willing to work really hard toward your goal before you can actually make it happen. My other philosophy is that “Pobody’s Nerfect!” It is okay that my makeup looks a bit different each time I put it on, that it looks like I did it myself (because I did!), or that my hair is a little lopsided, especially after riding in the wind! However, I do warn people that I’m sweaty after a long ride and they want to picture! So, if you're not already, please believe in something and give it everything you've got!
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